Sex Quotes

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Woody Allen

A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are.

Victor Lownes

Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.

Jackie Onassis

For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

Quentin Crisp

For certain people after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Gore Vidal

AIDS obliges people to think of sex as having, possibly, the direst consequences suicide. Or murder.

Susan Sontag

The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform.

Alfred Kinsey

A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join.

Elbert Hubbard

Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill - Up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account.

Scott Adams, The Dilbert Future

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

Bill Watterson, Calvin in "Calvin and Hobbes".

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

John Barrymore

Ok. Sex is fine. Sex is good. Sex is GREAT Okay, okay, we need men for sex... Do we need so many.

Sybil Adelman

Chastity always takes its toll. In some it produces pimples; in others, sex laws.

Karl Kraus

Friends are generally of the same sex, for when men and women agree, it is only in the conclusions their reasons are always different.

George Santayana

I can understand companionship. I can understand bought sex in the afternoon. I cannot understand the love affair.

Gore Vidal

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Woody Allen

Is sex dirty? Only if you do it right.

Woody Allen

The mind is not sex - Typed.

Margaret Mead

If I ask a woman if she has suffered sexual harassment, could this be considered sexual harassment?

Sally Forth, Jan. 28, 1991

If male homosexuals are called gay, then female homosexuals should be called ecstatic.

Shelly Roberts

My dear boy, no woman is a genius. They are a decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Whatever else can be said about sex, it cannot be called a dignified performance.

Helen Lawrenson

It is not in giving life but in risking life that man is raised above the animal; that is why superiority has been accorded in humanity not to the sex that brings forth but to that which kills.

Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex (1950)

I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery. I insist on believing that some men are my equals.

Brigid Brophy

Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation.

Richard Feynman

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.

Mark Twain

There is not one in a hundred of either sex who is not taken in when they marry. It is, of all transactions, the one in which people expect most from others, and are least honest themselves.

Jane Austen

The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the military is that the next time the government mandates a draft, we can all declare we are homosexual instead of running off to Canada.

Lorne Bloch

Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

Fran Lebowitz

Nothing is so much to be shunned as sex relations.

Saint Augustine

My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.

W. Somerset Maugham

It would be ridiculous to talk of male and female atmospheres, male and female springs or rains, male and female sunshine.... How much more ridiculous is it in relation to mind, to soul, to thought, where there is as undeniably no such thing as sex...

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.

Anonymous

There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.

W. Somerset Maugham

Someone asked Sophocles, How do you feel now about sex Are you able to have a woman He replied, Hush man most gladly indeed am I rid off it all, as though I had escaped from a mad and savage master.

Sophocles

Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.

Mark Twain

What does one want when one is engaged in the sexual act That everything around you give you its utter attention, think only of you, care only for you... every man wants to be a tyrant when he fornicates.

Marquis de Sade

I know nothing about sex because I was always married.

Zsa Zsa Gabo