Mark Twain Quotes
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.Mark Twain
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.Mark Twain
When in doubt, tell the truth.Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.Mark Twain
At the beginning of a great national change, the patriot is a scarce man: scorned, ridiculed and forgotten. When his cause succeeds, however, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - - And less trouble.Mark Twain
