Mark Twain Quotes
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Mark Twain
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.Mark Twain
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.Mark Twain
A man with a new idea is a crank - - Until the idea succeeds.Mark Twain
At the beginning of a great national change, the patriot is a scarce man: scorned, ridiculed and forgotten. When his cause succeeds, however, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - And stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove - Lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove - Lid again - And that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
