Mark Twain Quotes
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.Mark Twain
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.Mark Twain
October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - - And less trouble.Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - - A christian.Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.Mark Twain
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it.Mark Twain
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.Mark Twain
