Mark Twain Quotes
Man is the only animal that blushes - - Or needs to.Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.Mark Twain
A man with a new idea is a crank - - Until the idea succeeds.Mark Twain
I did it partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.Mark Twain
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - Either by themselves or by others.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
