Mark Twain Quotes
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.Mark Twain
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all - - The soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.Mark Twain
