Mark Twain Quotes
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.Mark Twain
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good - Natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.Mark Twain
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.Mark Twain
