Mark Twain Quotes
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.Mark Twain
We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit.Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
