Mark Twain Quotes
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - Either by themselves or by others.Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.Mark Twain
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good - Natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
