Mark Twain Quotes
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.Mark Twain
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.Mark Twain
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved he will do all things to get himself envied.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - And stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove - Lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove - Lid again - And that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
A man with a new idea is a crank - - Until the idea succeeds.Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.Mark Twain
