Mark Twain Quotes
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - - And less trouble.Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - - Or needs to.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - - A christian.Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.Mark Twain
Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon.Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.Mark Twain
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.Mark Twain
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.Mark Twain
