Mark Twain Quotes
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Mark Twain
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.Mark Twain
Youth, large, lusty, loving - Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination.Mark Twain
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.Mark Twain
