Mark Twain Quotes
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.Mark Twain
At the beginning of a great national change, the patriot is a scarce man: scorned, ridiculed and forgotten. When his cause succeeds, however, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
Youth, large, lusty, loving - Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination.Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.Mark Twain
Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.Mark Twain
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
