Mark Twain Quotes
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.Mark Twain
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
