Mark Twain Quotes
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved he will do all things to get himself envied.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.Mark Twain
Some people get an eduction without going to college the rest get it after they get out.Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - - Or needs to.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - - A christian.Mark Twain
Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.Mark Twain
