Mark Twain Quotes
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence - - And then success is sure.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.Mark Twain
