Mark Twain Quotes
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.Mark Twain
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money.Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.Mark Twain
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - And stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove - Lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove - Lid again - And that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.Mark Twain
