Mark Twain Quotes
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all - - The soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.Mark Twain
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.Mark Twain
At the beginning of a great national change, the patriot is a scarce man: scorned, ridiculed and forgotten. When his cause succeeds, however, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.Mark Twain
October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.Mark Twain
I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon.Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.Mark Twain
Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.Mark Twain
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.Mark Twain
